Homage

Home can be anywhere i guess,

North, East, South or West

I’ve seen a few places these past few months

None of them fit like my old set of shoes…

Home is where the heart is,

Or at least that’s what we’re all told.

All these clichés and sayings,

are turning grey and getting old

Time will take me back there.

So long as I follow my head,

signs will lead me home again

and lead me back to bed.

Herr Johnson

Walk straight down the old dirt track,
past the house, and round the back.
Behind the house, an old man sits.
Reading a book thats falling to bits.

Do you read? he asks,
with a complicated smile.
I reply quite suddenly,
suddenly shy.
No sir i am afraid not,
i just cant find the time, its time i forgot.
The grandfather puzzles,
sat there in his chair.
scratching his head, disrupting his hair.
Well you cant just... not read!
Ive never heard such a thing,
humans must read!
just as the birds must sing.
well i am sorry Herr...?
Johnson, johnsons the name,
well Herr Johnson tis no way to behave.
I am warey from travel,
and ready for grave.
Forgive me young man,
Age goes to my head,
I feel i need to say somthings,
before i am dead.
 

Rain and The Flower Dress

One day in summer my two friends and i, Ellie and Hardie, went for a walk by an old church only we know. It’s only small with a little car park, a smattering of trees and a graveyard that seems to go on forever over fences and fields. A sea of graves that never move, rows of names that never change. We walked around the grave stones some days, looking at names and dates because we have nothing better to do. Occasionally we would pass a stone with a wreath on top “I hope people put wreaths on my grave” I said in a somewhat morbid tone “Don’t worry mate we will, or at least I’ll get someone to do it for me in case I forget” Hardie was funny like that but still, it’s the thought that counts. It was strange to us. To be there in the day light felt odd and unnerving as we were used to the cover of night for most of our activity’s together.  We had been to get food earlier on and were now stacked up with plenty of snacks for our walk near the little chapel, which was carried in a crumpled old plastic bag.

      I was at the back of the pack and Ellie at the front, leaving Alex in the middle. Ellie was wearing her summery dress, looking like the hippie she is and she matched the flowery surroundings.  As we walked on Ellie sang herself a tune and me and Hardie talked about other times we had to find obscure places to get high. This was a stage in all our lives where we had all discovered certain things that warped perspective and changed the world, horse tranqus being the new big thing. Today was no exception. Both I and Hardie were at the point of questioning our own existence which cannot have been helped by the fact alcohol had been involved at other points that day.

      I was doing a lot of the talking because Hardie was too busy looking around at leaves to really care. “So mate, where the fuck we going?’” I said, in a manner only wonk could allow, to Alex who turned round and just kept walking, all the while Ellie was still singing in her summer dress, ignoring the world while letting it all soak into her.

     Later on in the hike, it could have been minutes it could have been hours for all we knew or cared. We came across a dead dear or foal as it was smaller than what I would have expected a dear to be. Alex and I were stood away from the deer but Ellie was nearer already looking at the deer. It was in the state of decomposition where its bones were visible but meat still hung from the crescent shaped ribs. Rot hung in the air refusing smell anything but death, it hijacked our senses. Death smells of so many things I couldn’t even begin to describe. Approaching, we could clearly see it had been attacked by some kind of animal, there were bite marks all up the bones sending shivers up my spine, odd thoughts ran through my head. Still all I could manage was “mate… that’s grimy” .Gravel crunched beneath us as , slightly muffled by mud and twigs that broke under the weight of me and Alex shattering the silence as we all saw what it was. Light and darkness, life and death all in one image. 

      If I hadn’t been so fucked up that day I might have registered the odd beauty of the scene. Sunlight shone through the overhanging trees, casting irregular shadows over Ellie and the deer. Her clothes wrenched my eyes from carcass to her, for some reason she made the death all right. Having her next to death so full of life and beauty. She emanated a feeling of happiness that day I’ve never been one to buy into karma or auras but if I have ever seen a perfect one it was her. We looked and poked at the deer for a while as kids do, and marched off, us three down that long downhill slope to the field.

     By the time we eventually reached the field, drugs had taken hold, ketamine gripped our skulls our bodies and our minds. All your senses become irrelevant because we were no longer human anymore. We were omniscient narrators to our own lives. Hardie crab walked into the field, talking about how walking was “easier said than done. I was much the same, finding even walking more difficult than peeling an orange with no hands but not Ellie, oh no, she floated past me like a spirit singing with a voice that slipped into my mind like she had sent the words straight into my blood stream. She was quiet after her song, and there was no more noise. It was a vacuum that washed over the whole field. The silence created more noise than any animals around us and I noticed my surroundings, it was a field that’s all I could see, nothing special just four sides and a lot of grass.

     Hardie and I had started to play our music, a soft song called “good luck” which sent mournful notes echoing across the grass. Rippling in the wind, sending notes on the strong currents to more exotic places. We talked and talked of things that we never did like doing band and living together.

     A drop of rain hit my face sliding down until it dripped off my chin, swiftly followed by a second and a third. It was only a while after I registered the rain that I snapped out of my trance. Hardie took a while longer but eventually came to, we complained about rain and how “it shouldn’t fucking exist in the summer”. Five to ten minutes after we noticed the absence of Ellie, everything suddenly felt depressingly normal and not very special. The rain kept falling and it didn’t stop. Flooding our summer paradise and damping our high to a point of sobriety.

     When the rain had stopped me and Hardie crawled out of our cave made from the overhanging trees and guitar bags to find Ellie stood at the edge of the field. To me she seemed like some kind of guardian, chasing away the attacking force of the rain bringing an army of summer with her. Letting it crash over my world it brought back life and sound saving Hardie and i from a fate of dampness and wet shoes.

History Vs The Test of Time

Who knows what happened?
There is nothing left to see,
Like open wide, your own language.
Like open wide, this semblance of things.
See, you might believe, Perhaps a change?
Scenery or people? Bones of a memory,
Stripped bare by the unrivaled force of scrutiny
Vicarial force, unyielding force.
Final stands mean nothing in the span of time

No?

It needs to be this way...
To forget, not remember the world
which is rife with past error.
As one thing is created,
another must be destroyed.

Of the Utmost

How do you define?

Three faces of identity.
Familiar, Unfamiliar and family.

Face for each, space for more.

Interpersonnal intelecual space,
Slip unconciously into the concious of another.

How do you define?

Collective culmination of the familiar.
A rejection of whats been left.

A face for each, space for more

Damn near sightedness!
One hand is the remedy.

How would you define?
The familiar, not and family?
One face for each, space for three more.

Inspiration

The urge purging all else,
a building rendering you helpless but to gaze at it.

However the sky it draws your eye outward.
Upward into the clouds, back into the crowds downward

Its one bent rail, nail that sticks out from the rest,
or the girl who's hair unfurls and attracts you.

Areas you dream and believe to be real,
like the child hood memory  you've been longing for.

That moment in time,
and the sign that someone is proud of you.

Traveling, For a long time

Then to the underground where the sound mounds around him.
Blares and scares him, wearing and tearing all around him.
The rush as people hushed bundle around him.
The walking and talking becomes choral around him.
Bones of those old grow weary beside him.
Then to the underground where the sound bounds toward him. 

Just One View

Just One View

By Dominic Brooks

Thinking, the Man sat and thought; in his home that overlooked a small patch of grass, a school, some trees, and valley of cars and buildings. While sitting he read his book and thought, I must find a job because I need one so badly, or so he had been told. Looking out over the grey cast City scape the Man took to finding his Curriculum vitaes, finally finding them creased and forgotten beneath a stack of books he had yet to read. If only there was a job for me, a career not a job, that’s what I need. Thoughts of musical paths and creative vocations pass through his head in an instant, before dissolving into the background noise of his mind, steadily abandoned to the annals of his memory.

Drawing back the door to his bedroom, he pulls on a heavy coat and ill-fitting shoes. Unbecoming but comfortable he searches franticly for a while, occasionally forgetting he is looking for his keys. Until at last his search pays off and another hidden treasure is saved from the depths of the deep blue settee. Carefully he places them in his left pocket, the right now unusable because of a neglected gap left to grow over time. After gathering the essentials e.g. Cigarettes and taking the time to arm the house in case of youthful intruders, he slips the key into the lock and it clicks shut. Then turning away from the door he thinks of the long walk ahead and it becomes more daunting than enjoyable and for a second. Thoughts of sitting down and smoking almost win the battle against motivation. Distracted by a buzzing from his phone the invisible mental battle is set aside, and he begins to walk in his own unique, jaunty fashion steadily loping toward the high-rise buildings in the distance. 

Passing building and people alike the Man begins to inspect the persons that go by. Happy then sad, frustrated then care free. The sad and frustrated more often than not in guises that imply their jobs are to blame; they hurry past as if work is an important place to be, and home is a place they long for. Home is where you should be at all times, he thought, connecting the gears of your life to realise your dreams. Not a place to just eat and sleep, or else you may as well have stayed working. With this in mind the Man, now slightly disheartened, began to make a point of enjoying his surroundings. To his right an average looking building catches his eye. Visually ascending the tower he explores the rich history etched deep into the anatomy of its stony features, until finally he reaches the peak of its glorified stature. 

A lonely roofed turret sits atop the building; large arches holding the ornate celling in place along with the elegant masonry adding to the Romanic apparel. Taken aback by the stained beauty of the tower the Man cannot help but wonder, if I am down here and impressed, if I venture up there will it take my breath away? With these words in his head he lets slip thoughts of responsibility and work, taking to the spiral staircase, like Adam to the apple. Upon reaching the top the Man takes in the stretching view of the suburbs and estates, this is not quite what I had expected, thought the Man, I’d had in mind a breath taking view of City and surroundings, yet all I find here is a lofty perch… and a view fit for pigeons. I must find the view that I know is out there, that I know will satisfy my need for a picturesque memory and an unforgettable moment. Now questing for his picture perfect moment the Man seems more full of force and resolve, strengthened only by the action of leaving his “skills and expertise” behind, forgotten along with the view he found fit only for pigeons. 

Back at the base of the tower the Man follows his feet, step by step letting his worn down shoes lead the way. Feeling the cobbles beneath him the man walks on, occasionally stopping to remove a stone that has managed to sleuth its way into the confines of his broken foot-wear. The wind picks up and the clouds start to clear and taking advantage of the new born Sun the Man changes direction and follows the wind toward the heart of the City. As he walks the few passers-by increase hundred fold. Suddenly wave after wave of busy souls crash into the oncoming traffic, yet like the calmest river the flow never ceases. Conversations become like left overs to him, overhearing remnants of dialogue never meant for his ears. If only I could put a context to “he told me off like dog” or understand what “idiosyncratic” meant, I could piece together these dog ends of conversion. 

Absolving himself of these pointless trains of thought the Man stumbles upon a staircase, a staircase he has neglected to notice up until this point. Curious the Man makes his way up the dark passageway, passing graffiti and discarded newspapers as he goes, footsteps crunching on the crumbling steps of the unkempt stairwell. Dripping can be heard from a far-away leak, an aural testament to the buildings state of disrepair. 

How can a building be left to rot? Stone is meant to be forever, yet anything left untreated will erode into nothingness. His mind flicks back to the renouncement of the CV’s for a moment, but his concentration is suddenly broken by a blast of light from the opening above. Upon reaching the summit of the companionway he finds himself stranded on a balcony of green grey stone. The birds nesting there are panicked at his arrival in their makeshift home and flee in fear of what may become of them if they stay.

 The Man stands watching their departure into open sky, leaving him stranded at the Overhang Airport. Once out of sight he turns his attention downward towards the bustling high-street. Reaching out on either side, arms of glass and stone stretch forward toward the Horizon in a gamble to catch anything that attempt to escape their clutches. Between their steal embrace lays a blanket of shoppers of all shapes and sizes, scurrying in the sunshine towards the next indoor paradise. Beating down upon them the Sun is past her half way point, dying, and with her taking the day into its daily grave. Why the scene before me I cannot abide by I do not know, it holds a certain allure and metaphorical beauty but it lacks presence, it lacks soul. Packed in-between these commercial giants, those who inhabit this space have lost their implication of humanity, Surrounded by each other, but more distant than any star in the sky. Shaking his head The Man slowly walks back the way he came, back down the dark staircase and then out into the savannah of bustling people. 

Entering the now shady street a powerful gust of wind hits the Man sending his coat into a billowing frenzy around his body. He quickly zips the coat closed in vain effort to remain warm and looks left towards home. Unseen tendrils of prospective comfort and relaxation taunt and draw him back the way he came, then like a spectre the instinctual desire to return is gone as quickly as it was announced. Overthrowing the lure of the homeward bound fishing line the Man looks to his right, the long path towards the river dares him to venture down towards its earthy banks. 

It’s been so long since I worked on the river. Maybe now it can offer me some voyeuristic contentment, or at the very least a feeling of nostalgic retrospection and a more responsible past. Hoping this may be the end to his echeloned journey, he decides a break is in order. Abated by primal mechanics the realization occurs to him that he has not eaten since day break. I MUST EAT; his stomach groans the words, floating to his brain and clawing away at the back of his mind. Enough, I surrender… I can last no longer. I abdicate this time to sustenance, reluctantly grateful. Adjusting his journey slightly, he dodges left and right in a stream of people brushing past with barely an inch to spare. Entering a high street bakery searching for the perfect view is momentarily postponed in lue of instant gratification. Finally deciding on the food that will satisfy his now substantial hunger the Man peers into the glass larder prison, the inmates stare back with unblinking eyes and ginger bread smiles.  

Arriving at the great river the Man sits on a weather worn memorial bench and inspects the sky, and sees the Sun losing her dominance overhead until a flurry of wind causes the Man great displeasure for a moment or two. After the wind abates a spell of eerie calmness is cast across the now placid waters. Seagulls fly far above staring down at him, acting as the eyes of god. They bark incomprehensible orders down at The Man, who now lost within their Ariel dance, lets their cries fall on deaf ears.

 The Man admits to himself a secret yearning to be one of them and abandon his earth stranded body and sore, sore high to find the view he knew would be waiting there. Casting his vision across the river he explores the far embankment, wondering if another was searching for something similar to him. All along the river buildings scare the sky, jutting up and outward pointing towards the heavens in accusatory fashions. Mud encases the lower region of the solid grey concrete running along the waters edge, stretching on forever, aged but still enduring the test of time and Mother Nature.

As he looks into the water it begins to take on its own unnatural life, hypnotised by the swirling mystic patterns he stares for what seems like hours. Thoughts abandon him and the inner silence lets his heavy head rest. Bubbles on the water, turn to a flat swirling mist, I’ve been here too long… Poetic thoughts suddenly rife within him, he stares into the distance and decides, I have not found my view, but maybe some piece of mind. This search has taken me to the river, where my past is washed away and I am re-born. Maybe now I will find the path I need to walk. Turning away The Man walks forward, determined in his stride to return home; with each step he feels the call of home grow stronger and stronger inside him. 

           Click. 

He slots the key into the lock and walks inside, draws open the bedroom door and removes his tattered coat and battered shoes letting out long a sigh of relief as he does. Dropping onto his bed like a stone he lets out muffled grunt, glad to be home and glad to be laid down. Throwing his coat to one side he checks his phone, then seeing it is as empty as it always is, discards it along with the burdensome coat and broken converse. Looking to the window the Man notices a strange   golden   glow seeping through the cheap translucent blinds. Going to the window he fights with the string mechanism, finally overcoming them. The blinds rush open; laying bare the secret once locked behind. 

The Sun blares down upon him as he casts his eyes over the valley of cars and buildings, no longer are they grey. Now bathed in the transforming light of the auburn hue of the sunset, the City is transformed. Orange light from the Sun falls forward washing over all she can see, silhouetting trees against the canvas of the urban landscape, becoming fingers painting an incredible picture and reaching for the clouds now coloured red with passion. Horizon calls to his lover and she draws ever nearer. The Man stands in stunned silence, simply enjoying the moment.  

…The Sun blinks one last time as she sinks into the arms of Horizon.

As if to let him know,

His search did not go unanswered.

 

The End 

The Rolling Hills of England

Seasons are a funny thing,  Well, especially as I am Englishman. When winter comes I wish it gone. Summer arrives and I'd rather it not have.  Those times between seasons, Those strange twilight shades. Invoke some of the strangest feelings.  I long for both winter and summer times gone.  I think it's safe to say, as I look out over the rolling hills of England, That the seasons never change. 

Metropoll

Heir Burns

Its been a grueling few weeks
here in Cape Feare.
Butchered like a hog!
I dont want to seem ungratful.
And its probably my imagination,
but im having trouble with this character.

Thats them alright,
that rib always breaks.
Now you really are my son.
What a coinsidense,
you may fire when ready!
Or lose everything and the freedom to do whatever you want.

The Guns of Music

The Guns of music
blast out into the room. 
Barely heard over the noise of our voices. 


Burst of energy 
Fuel what action takes place here, 
wave after wave we sink into our chairs. 


Euphoric Boasting
can be caught peripherally,
while the Guns of music fire steadily in the background.

Cigarette Breaks

Except The Cold.
As a bird excepts the wind,
embrace the Blue White Winter.
Though it creeps like a Demon,
it can and will be ignored.
Sharpe intakes of breath!
Hair stood to attention,
season makes himself clear.

Except The Cold,
When its freezing Cold,
a thorough marrow chill.
Sharpe intakes of breath!
Cold but never-the-less
when your warm once more,
the Frost made it better
crisp in the cold morning air. 

Hangover

Each time my face passes over a moving train it changes.
And I, diminished rattling echo
wait for the darkness and a constant reflection.
On the inside or the ball of someones eye.
Seeing far clearer than a mirror would show.
This is the base of me, subsidised and less.
Tailored to suit.

The London Town Tango

ACT I

Scene 1

EXT.STREET CORNER.EVENING/NIGHT

A shallow stage is lit with a single candled lamp post, it casts flickering shadows all over the stage. The walls of the set appear to be made of industrial red, dirty brink. The two set walls concave behind a lone man in center stage, the street is dirty with loose hay, straw and other such waste. The narrator seems as if he is about to talk but stops to take of his top hat first. His posture is good but talks with no discernible accent, slightly upper class. He is dressed with class but still scruffy, he wears a dark blue/black waist coat, black trousers, and a patched up coat.

The narrator is a show boat, his is flamboyant, and charming.Much like a traveling salesman. As he talks, he walks confidently around the stage and lamp post, while doing so using theatrical hand and arm gestures.

Narrator

Good evening to you all, to ladies to gents. to London i take you, a city of greats. Of kings and of queens and of peasants and the scum. Where the rich think they're smart, but really they're dumb. A town full of smoke full of beggars full of thieves. A town with no green grass, no wild life, no trees. two con men i will show you both good men at heart, a tale of two brothers that get torn apart.

(As he talks the noise of a bell is heard ringing and leaves an echo )

Oh whats that I'm hearing,we must be ready at last,but now i must leave you the shows about to start.

after he is finished speaking, he smiles, bows and holds it. As he bows the extras for the market scene walk past him from all angles swallowing him up in the crowd allowing him to exit almost unnoticed.. the two angled brick walls are pulled away to reveal an old English market.

scene 2

EXT.OLD ENGLISH MARKET.DAYTIME

(FREEZE FRAME) Two men in disguise are pulling a con one is raised on a wagon in the middle of a crowd, almost as high as the crowds heads. They are all dressed in 1890s attire apart from the one man on the wagon who is dressed in street clothing with a bowler hat the other is hidden amongst the crowd.they're wagon is full of much-colored bottles of all shapes and sizes . A sign on their wagon reads "Abe'n'sons". They are pulling a "pigeon drop" confidence trick which involves selling the "mark" an item of large value when really its worth nothing. The noises that can be heard on stage are crowds, horses, chickens, children, vendors, gambling, whistles and wagons creating a cacophony of noise. The narrator, now part of the on stage crowd, begins to talk and move casually round the stage. the back drop of the market is a large church door with heavy looking double wooden doors. two men stand deeply stage left, they are "under cover police" No performers around them, low spotlight barely illuminating them, their faces are obscured by their clothing. Reuben is smart, patient, calm. with a think Russian accent. Jim is head strong, cocky and handsome. Both are very laid back.

Narrator

These two men before us, standing up on stage, are the two Bones brothers,great con men of their age. They have traveled all London from south side to west. No one could dare challenge them they're just simply the best.

With that he jumps up to the two men in disguise

NARRATOR

While Reuben is the brains here, young Jim provides the face. pulling tricks so devilish and daring, but doing so with grace.To Take from the rich and give to the poor,as robin did in old English folk law. But our two boys have a better idea, they give to themselves! a con mans career! your wallet and your hat maybe even your dog! they'd even steal from a church if there was something they could flog.

a clock is heard ticking, and the narrator holds a broken pocket watch up to his ear.

NARRATOR

But again i have lost track of time and talked for far to long. the stage is set I'm in the way, the show must still go on.

the freeze frame end and the characters on stage all begin to jostle about and talk to each other as the younger man begins to shout.

Young man

Role up! role up! step right up and don't miss out on the medicinally, miraculous, fantabulous Abe'N'Son's revitalizing re-energizing lotion! Put some pep in your step its a thing you wont forget. its mesmerizing, awe inspiring, fate deciding lotion! one pound a bottle and and two more for a pack.

one man steps up from the crowd raising his hands to his mouth to shout.

OLDER CONMAN

And why should we believe you eh! wheres the proof i say! my old man always said don't believe nothing till you've seen it with your own peepers!

YOUNG MAN

well sir! i invite you to test the wonders of our revitalizing lotion. C'mon up, don't be shy, make way make way

the crowd member makes his way through crowd, and climbs up on the wagon standing stage right of the young man.

YOUNG MAN

now sir, do you have any illness, affliction or ailments in, on or around your mind, body or soul?

OLDER CONMAN

Not that i can see that it matters, but as a matter of fact i do!

he turns and lifts up his shirt to reveal a hideous boil on his upper right hand hip.

OLDER CONMAN

had this boil since i was a lad, calls 'I'm ol'squealer on account o' the way he scared the ladies when i was a young lad.

As the volunteer crowd member is talking the young man picks up a normal looking bottle filled with a sparkling liquid.

YOUNG MAN

well sir, after just one sip of our wonder tonic, you'll be rid of ol squealer quicker than a Frenchman in a fight.

the crowd member still looking suspicious takes the bottle from the young man, he takes out the stopper and looks to the young man looking scared.

go on sir, there's nothing to be afraid of other than a more excellent version of yourself!

finally with some reluctance the crowd member takes a sip of the strange looking liquid. The young man looks on in anticipation and begins to talk. The two undercover policemen move closer to the action.

can you feel it surge through your veins sir! making your old parts feel young and the young parts even younger! ill make a believer out of you all yet! sir would you kindly lift up your top and reveal your most grotesque hip feature.

the man lifts up his top to reveal his boil, but nothing is too be seen, the crowd gasp in synchronization.

OLDER CONMAN

corr blimey that's ruddy remarkable, what devilry is this!

YOUNG MAN

no devilry here sir! just Abe'N'Son's magically magnificent, undoubtedly legitimate, results without incident, revitalizing, re-energizing even slightly moisturizing lotion. Get your bottle while it lasts so you don't regret the past! one pound for a bottle one more for a pack

scene 3

the crowd member stands on stage amazed and looks down in disbelief, as the young man talks he builds the crowd up into a frenzy. when he asks who's buying the whole crowd goes crazy and starts pulling out money nearly throwing it at the stage. the young man takes a bow and starts taking money from the people in the crowd. the two undercover police dressed in tweed trench coats move closer to the action still. When they reach the middle of the crowd they throw off their coats to revel dark blue police uniforms.

Young Jim

whatcha!Hands in the air! This is the police!

the two men on the wagon look as if they are about to run. shifty faces full of worry.

don't you even dare think bout moving boys! we got this place locked down tighter than a porcupines arse hole!

the crowd member/ volunteer try to to run of stage left, but only gets two steps before he is caught by Reuben in a backwards head lock and dragged back to center stage. as he is caught his legs fly up in the air in a comical fashion. The two policemen go on to tie them up and then place them facing forward, lying belly down toward the audience. the rest of the crowd is shewed of stage by jimmy.

YOUNG JIM

move along folks, move along, nothing to see here. move it along. You don't have to go home but you cant stay here!

once the crowd has gone, jims police talk turns into

YOUNG JIM

blah blah blah blah blah!

taking of his police hat.

Reuben

well boys what do we have here?

Reuben proceeds to rifle through the boys wears and search their pockets. after a short while Reuben discovers the money that they have just stolen. as he does so he steals all of the con mens valuables slyly. young jim is seen tasting some of the Abe brothers wonder tonic.

REUBEN

looks to me like these to boys have been pulling the old pigeon drop scam on the good folks of London.

Reuben kneels beside the con man on stage right.

YOUNG JIM

with out a shadow of a doubt constable, nothin but water and mint! shameless

young Jim throws the bottle to Reuben, he takes a sip and shakes his head and casually slaps him on the head as if in disappointment.

YOUNG MAN

But cant you feel it running through your veins sir, your a veritable super man!

Reuben slaps him again

REUBEN

give it up son! you aint fooling any one.You may as well have pissed in a bottle.

YOUNG MAN

jokes on you old man, we DID piss in the bottle!

the two men on the floor begin to laugh, Reuben takes another sip and swills it round his mouth looking confused, then makes a large swallowing noise.shrugs.the brothers share looks, and swiftly kick each man. Reuben then moves toward the back stage.

young Jim

it seems to me,constable, that we have finally apprehended the notorious "Bones Brothers"!

older conman

nah you got it all wrong, we aint them! and they're DEFINITELY not us!

young Jim paces up and down before the two tied up con men.

young Jim

ah, well, you see. you fit the description your doing what they do, and you lie for a living.

he pauses for a second. and looks up and to the audience smiling in a cheeky way.

young Jim

I think we'll let the courts decide.

three policemen walk on from stage right. wearing typical "bobby" police gear. Reuben can be seen disappearing slipping away through a trap door.

Commissioner

Ello' Ello' Ello', whats going on ere then?

YOUNG JIM

Commissioner! your here! your late!,  but your here!

turning to the two tied up men, young Jim crouches between

YOUNG JIM

(whispers)

you boys are in reeeal trouble now.

YOUNG MAN

excuse me! would someone mind telling us what the bloody hell is going on!

COMMISSIONER

quiet you

he kicks the man on the floor as he talks

COMMISSIONER

whats that you've got for me there Jim? looks to me like we've finally captured the "Bones Brothers" we so desperately seek.

YOUNG Jim

Yessir! caught these two bleeding some poor folks dry with this

he presents the commissioner with the bottle.the commissioner inspects the bottle.

COMMISNOR

its not poison is it?

young jim

no sir, just "wonder tonic"

COMMISNOR

well it never hurts to try, one of these damn fools might get it right one days.

YOUNG JIM

are you sure about that commish?

COMMISNOR

i should hope so, then my daughter might spend her money on somthing that actually works for once!

drinks from the bottle,jim can be seen laughing.

young jim

well, he's pissed in that, and you've just drank it. Thats the real crime here. nevertheless as always commissioner, its been a real pleasure doing your work for you. Unpaid and unappreciated.

the commissioner spits out the liquid in a spray.

young Jim begins to nonchalantly walk off stage. the commissioner can be seen spluttering. getting his breath back the commissioner says.

COMMISSIONER

not so fast Jimmy, we're bringing you in this time. you and your brother!

YOUNG JIM

alright then!

jimmy stops and turns holds out his hands and walks back over to the real police.

YOUNG JIM

you win, you'll catch me some day might as well be now!

he shrugs and and thrusts forward his hands

YOUNG JIM

i see sense, i see light! Ive been wrong all this time, and you've been so right.

the commissioner, looking suitably cautious steps toward Jim.

commissioner

alright, no funny business now jimmy, we don't want anyone getting hurt now.

YOUNG JIM

yea yea alright, but before you arrest me i have one more thing to say. I'm the best commissioner, and i just keep getting better.

with that young Jim delivers a sharp kick into the commissioners crotch. and then quickly runs of stage right

YOUNG JIM

you mean, "you" getting hurt!

the commissioner is downed by a fleeing jimmy, the two onstage police run off stage right to chase him. the commissioner gets back on his feet looks angry and gives chase.

the two poor con men who have been conned lie on the floor looking annoyed and defeated.

YOUNG MAN

you promised this would stop happening.

OLDER CONMAN

Not now!

they attempt to shuffle of stage right.

YOUNG MAN

you did promise.

scene 4

the stage goes black after Jim has final evaded the police. when the lights turn back up we see an optical illusion of a long back ally lit with moonlight, this is the brothers den, much like that of Alladin's den depicted in "Alladin" . Reuben is already there and casually sitting a top of 2 crates. young Jim come in after out of breath. a homeless man sits in the corner(he is the narrator). there is a small table with a rough looking chess set sat on top of it, they use barrels for chairs.jimmy runs in from stage right, and is out of breath he bends over double .

YOUNG JIM

and where exactly (he laughs) did you disappear to! you missed all the fun!

Reuben

I've been here, waiting

Reuben jumps down of the crates and sidles over to the barrols and sits down on stage left, picks up a chess peice and examines it.

young Jim

please don't do that voice, its scares me, t scared me when i was a kid...(he pauses) and it scares me now.

young Jim finally standing up straight

REUBEN

come on is not that bad, just a little deep

Young Jim

Rube, Its the voice kids hear in there nightmares. i still hear those cold whispers in my ear at night.

REUBEN

this is because i whisper things to you, in Russian, while you sleep...to freak you out!

Reuben pulls a creepy face, he is joking, young Jim looks horrified and then at the audience then at Reuben then shrugs and takes a seat opposite.

Reuben

is your move Jim

with that Reuben puts the piece back down in its place. as each brother talks they examine the board and move one piece per line.

YOUNG JIM

you should have stayed to see the commissioners face reub, i made him drink-

REUBEN

i know. I saw.

YOUNG JIM

you saw ?i didn't see you.

REUBEN

because i did not want anyone to see me.

young Jim

thats your problem reub, your too serious

REUBEN

perhaps, but i would say your reckless and overconfident

young Jim

i would call it brave mate, maybe even heroic.

Reuben

you never listen to me jim, all that i taught you, out of sight out of mind.

YOUNG JIM

leave off, i do listen to you! i remembered...to take all there stuff, see! Look!

young Jim pulls out heaps of cash from his pockets

REUBEN

that's not the point, you take nothing seriously. What if you got caught, even worse killed! there's a warrant out for our arrest, the commissioners is after our heads!

YOUNG JIM

the commissioner! HA he wouldn't know a con if it came up and kicked him in the arse!HA

Reuben

No? then so con him.

there is a pause as young Jim looks at Reuben. Reuben is staring intently at the chess board. the characters stop moving chess pieces, it is Reuben turn.

YOUNG JIM

great idea!, that can be our next job.

Reuben

not we, you.

Still looking at the chess board.

young Jim

what?

Reuben

i would like to see mister brave, and mister heroic do this by himself.

young Jim

your not serious?

REUBEN

i though i was always serious, can you not tell from my "nightmarish" voice.

young Jim stands up and begins to get mad, Reuben looks up from the chess set to Jim.

YOUNG JIM

you don't think i can do it do you? you don't! you actually don't! you constantly underestimate me and I'm sick of it, ill show you what I'm capable of.

Reuben (in a patronizing tone)

i hear a lot of talking, but i don't hear a lot of doooooing.

young Jim

you'll eat your words!...

Jim pauses trying to think of a comeback

YOUNG JIM

OLD MAN! mark my...words...

Reuben moves a chess piece across the board as Jim begins to storm of stage.

REUBEN

Hey Jim!

he calls to Jim across the stage, Jim turns back towards Reuben.

REUBEN

(pointing to the board)

Check mate.

Jim storms off stage.

act 2

SCENE 1

the narrator steps forward and two new walls slide in from either side, they are both facing directly forward and meet in the middle. it is an old english pub called "The Two Headed Ass" the narrator begins to talk. there is a sprinkle of snow covering the floor, it looks like winter.

NARRATOR

And it was over like that, quick as a flash, Reuben was calm and young Jim became rash. the bet was on and Reuben was waiting, Jim ran to the pub and began contemplating. Over a chips and a pie, in the old English fashion, while nursing a beer with love and compassion.

young Jim walks in from stage left to right and goes in through the door, he acknowledges the narrator and the narrator tips his hat. Jim goes through the door and the narrator follows, as the narrator goes through there is a short black out. when the lights come back up the tavern is in full view, there is dingy lighting.

The inside of the tavern contains two long wooden tables on either side of the stage. one circular table is located centre stage. A small bar runs along the back stage right, and there is a back drop behind showing stairs on back stage left. Edward "eddie" Falkes is sat on the middle table eating a large meal, drinking from two cups, he has a jug on he table also, He has a cigar in an ash tray to his left and a bib tucked in the front of his shirt. Eddie is an ageing con man, he is loud, jolly and overly friendly. he is a recovering alcoholic.

Jim walks in from back stage right, he then goes to the bar and gets a drink. After flicking the bartender his silver piece, He slinks up behind eddie and puts a hand on his back.

as the scene plays out the extras on stage buy and drink there drinks. a fight breaks out occasinally and "wenches" serving drinks

young jim

Evenin eddie, glad to see your here on time! earlier than me even! what has gotten into you.

eddie jumps up suprised, he knocks the table forward slightly as he shoots up.

EDDIE FALKES

Hells above jim, dont sneak up on me like that!

Eddie now seems slightly out of breath. he drops himself back onto the middle of the bench he was sitting on.

EDDIE FALKES

And its edward now if you dont mind , change of pace change of name you know!

YOUNG JIM

Edward? haha eddie, just becasue you won big on a horse does not mean i am gonna start calling you edward. thats a kingly name, and the only thing kingly about you is the size of bed. and how is the sobriety going!

Eddie looks down at his belly and gives out a little giggle.

EDDIE FALKES

WHAT! fantastic! got a hobby! collect the news papers now quite exilarating.

an attrative girl walks past jimmy, jim turns and his eyes follow the girl

EDDIE FALKES

(under his breath )

But id kill you all for one bloody beer!

jim half hears what has been said and quickly turns back

YOUNG JIM

what?

EDDIE FALKES

what! sit down! drink your drink, if you dont i might just have too hahahaha.....(sighs, then perks up jolly once more) i assume from your message we will be talking business!

Jim looks at the bench that has been dominated by eddie form, and decides to pull up a chair from the table on stage left for himself and sits down at the side of the table.

YOUNG JIM

if its business were talking eddie, surley a drink will make agreeing upon terms all the more difficult?

eddie booms with laughter

EDDIE FALKEs

HAHAHAHA as always the comedian! no i believe as the saying goes, an ale a day keeps the physician away, kills more than they can save by most storys ive heard! one fellow up on-

YOUNG JIM

Kingstreet has a sister who's friend who almost died under the knife? or was it an axe, you dont half get carried away Eddie.

EDDIE FALKES

HAHAHAHA ahhh

he smashes his hand on the table as he chokes on his meal, Jim looking more relaxed than worried waits for a few seconds before slapping him hard on the back. eddie now looks a little more calm. jim pulls out a deck of cards and starts to play with them.

EDDIE FALKES

ehem! quite! thank you old boy, probably a good idea if i err lay the old sword down, so to speak.

he rests his knife and fork on his plate and pushes it away, through out the conversation his eyes dart to his food and back to jims drink.

EDDIE FALKES

A shame about you and reuben! A Damn shame, never seen the boston Bamboozle pulled of quite so flawlessly. Back in the day it was a little more simple you know! i once-

YOUNG JIM

Business,eddie. Business...

eddie gets flustered and splutters.

EDDIE FALKES

meh, huh ohhhhhhh! this business used to be about the people! The people Jim, the people the friends and the drinking...especialy the drinking...

Eddies looking slightly up in the air as if hes remembering times past.

YOUNG JIM

The times are changing eddie! and ive got a job to pull and you were the la- i mean first person on my list! its not that any one wont work with me or anything like that * the commisinors the target! and weve got a deadline, time is of the essence, edward.

eddie falkes

the commisoner eh?? bit of an ambitious target old boy, its been tried many a time, even your brother couldnt do it!

Young Jim

i was thinking about that, but there are other ways to his wallet than through his pockets eddie. apparently his daugter is loose with the family expenses, and i aims to take advantage of that fact

he winks at eddie

EDDIE FALKES

too true, too true! that commisinors got it comming one way or another, who does he think he is?!

YOUNG JIM

exactly my point eddie, great minds eh?

EDDIE FALKES

great minds what?!

young jim looks confused. he squints.

young jim

think alike, eddie. Great minds think alike.

EDDIE FALKES

well if thats true..me and the pope have some things to talk about!

there is an akwarde pause, and jim continues.

YOUNG JIM

So, anyways, were gonna need to pull a practise con before, you know the big shebang. cos its been a while mate hasnt it?

EDDIE FALKES

baulderdash! once a con man, always a com man. i could con you right out of your clothes if i chose to!

the lights black out and are put back up shortly after, the two men are seen playing cards, jimmy is in full clothes and eddie is now nearly naked smoking a cigar. they seem to be playing the final hand. eddie puts down his hand. people are gathered round the table.

EDDIE FALKES

perhaps a practise con might be a good idea! you know warm up the old scamming muscles.

young jim

i think you might be right there eddie.

Jims smiles at Eddie.

Black out.

SCENE 2

the lights come back on.

The pub has been transformed into an upper class cafe. The tables now have sheets over them. the bar man and waiters are now in classy waiter costumes. Young jim is seen sat on the circular table centre stage, he is eating a nice meal and enjoying a coffe. he has an old looking fiddle next to him. A waiter walks up beside him. jim is dressed as a traveling musician, he is Irish with a strong accentand talks very fast, the type of class not normally seen in the cafe. eddie is in disguise as a rich antiques merchant, monocle and the works. The head waiter is in charge of the cafe he is forty years old, snobby and rude. 

head waiter

will that be all... sir.

young jim

(in an irish accent, talking quickly)

absolutly! didnt touch the sides, couldnt eat another bite thank ya boss!

head waiter

of course... and how will "sir" be settling his bill today.

young jim

easy now,youll get your money dont you worry!

he pats himself down then looks worryied then checks his shoe, looks even more worryied and looks up and gives a cheeky smile to the waiter.

YOUNG JIM

ahh, well you see, seems ive forgoten me wallet, forget me head it wasnt screwed on you see.

Jim stands up, the waiter is about to talk, or to call security. jim sees and inturupts.

YOUNG jim

wait! tell you what, this fiddle here is the only thing i have to me name, its worth more to me than all the gold under midases bed! can ye not take its as a form of celestrial!

head waiter

I believe you mean collateral, sir. and, no i dont think...

as he says this young jim places his hand on the waiters upper arms.

YOUNG JIM

Collateral! thats the word,

he begins to back away from the waiter heading to the door on back stage right. after which we can see jim's face visable through a window at the back of stage. he watches and reacts to eddies first perfomance as a con man in years

YOUNG JIM

me oh my you waiter types are smarter than you look, arnt ya? ,no offense there boss,  ill be back in a jiffy dont you move a muscle!

the young waiter left with no choice but to accept young jims offer, picks up the fiddle and examins it.

he walks over to the bar along the back of the stage and places the fiddle atop it. he mutters under his breath seeming angry. at this point eddie saunters up to the bar.

EDDIE FALKES

(talking to the bar man)

excuse me my good man! can i perhaps trouble you for a cold glass of orange juice! thank you.

eddie notices the head waiter glance at him.

EDDIE FALKES

On a break from the devils nectar you see hahaha ive woken up in my bed dressed in a courset ! or so my wife has told me!

the waiter now thinking he is in the presance of somone high class he then begins to act in a far more polite manner than before.

head waiter

haha of course sir, women hey? , can i get anything else for you?

By now eddie has seen the fiddle, he trys to hide a smile but too late the waiter seems embarrassed and bursts out with.

head waiter

oh! i can assure you, this ... "insrument" is not mine sir.

EDDIE FALKES

(Staring at the fiddle)

oh really ? may i ask whos it is? i dabble in the antiques market you see.

HEAD WAITER

i believe it belongs to the vagrant who just left with out paying for his meal, probably not worth the clothes on his back.

EDDIE FALKES

I wouldnt be so sure my lad! may i take a closer look?

the bartender brings back eddies drink. the Head waiter is now interested in the fiddle gives it to eddie himself.

head waiter

of course sir, and here is your orange juice!

Eddie is scutinizing the fiddle in a most inexpert way allmost ignores him and replies.

EDDIE FALKES

just set it down there lad, theres a good chap!

he shakes, licks bites and hums into the fiddle. after doing so he plays an unharmonic tune hammering the fiddle strings with the bow.the head waiter looks on with disbelief. this goes on for some time untill eddie shakes his head.

HEAD WAITER

i knew it! I knew it would be nothing more than a worthless trinket! ohhhh the cheek of...

EDDIE FALKES

(Shouts)

What ?!

he shocks the head waiter who jumps. eddie is taking to the waiter but pays him no attention.

EDDIE FALKES

quite the opposite my food serving friend! I'm shaking my head becasue only in my wildest dreams, could a fiddle of this rarity, crop up in a place as unlikly as this!

head waiter

(jaw drops but quickly corrected, he trys to hide his face.)

surley not! are you sure! i dont believe it!

eddie looks up now seeming quite angry.

head waiter

(Shaking his head)

Sir! sorry sir.

EDDIE FALKES

(now all smiles)

thats better lad! and no this is quite the piece! a fine example of an austrian...

eddie loses the con for a second. and we can see jims face drop! he is seen to lose it for a second but is back at the window quickly.

EDDIE FALKES

(coughs and wipes his brow)

a fine example of an austrian hunger fiddle! yes the rarest fiddle of any fiddle on the planet!Haha ehm...quite.

jim can be seen disparing at this last line!.there is a pause between the waiter and eddie. The waiter looks as though he about to cotten on.

head waiter

(Lieing)

of course! the hunger fiddle of hungery! fine deductions sir!

the head waiter isnt looking at eddie anymore just staring at the fiddle with greed.

EDDIE FALKES

does your vagrant fellow knows what he has hold of? if he happens to come back which i dare say he will send him down to my shop on bakers street, i would be very intrested in adding it to my collection! and making him a very rich man in the process

eddie downs his orange juice and leaves some coins on the bar.

EDDIE FALKES

Anyhaps i must ajourn! the life of a tradesman you see, bearly an hour for afternoon tea, scandoulous!

The head waiter snaps out of his trance.

HEAD WAITER

yes... yes of course sir! have a great day

the waiter now has an evil smile on his face, just after eddie has left jim flys back in wallet in hand. the head waiter perks up and goes to sit jimmy down at his table, he pulls out Jims chair for him as he sits.

young jim

eh? whats all this, dont i feel like your average Princess!

HEAD WAITER

ha ha ha, yes sir! just like a queen! so glad to see your back! i thought for a moment you were going to leave me with just your fiddle for a second, only for a second though sir.

Jim and the waiter are now both acting as if they are age old friends.

young jim

ahhhh i couldnt do that, me fiddles all i have. and all she has is me! trade the world for er make no mistake!

head waiter

you know sir, this fiddle. It seems abit old and battered for a musician of your clear skill. have you ever thought of, trading up sir?

young jim

never had the green in me back pocket! let alone my wallet! i can bearly pay the meal away-

head waiter

Not a problem! perhaps we can make some sort of deal then sir?

young jim

what kind of a deal! i dont have any laywers if its about that mess in the toilets..

HEAD WAITER

(conceals a grimace)

no no sir, i was thinking the meal could be payed for in a diffrent way. perhaps a trade for your fiddle could be arranged?

young jim

what dya want her for!? i though she was old and battered! and anyways shes like family to me, i couldnt possibly sell her. not for a free meal anyway.

head waiter

and if i was to offer say, 20 pounds would that sweeten the deal sir? you can buy the fanciest fiddle in all of london with that!

he pulls out some sheets of money Jim seems unipressed.

young jim

ah you drive a hard bargin there boss! this fiddles been in my family for generations! it belonged to me dead father ya see

jim is now counting dead relatives with one hand.

HEAD WAITER

30 pounds?

he pulls out another note

YOUNG JIM

and me dead granda

head waiter

40 pounds!

and another note

YOUNG JIM

and before that me great great grandma's dog! couldnt play it much from what ive heard, but it explains the bite marks

head waiter

50 pounds! finnal offer! thats all i have.

he pulls a wad of cash from his pokets, almost begging jim to take it. young jim stands up looks the man in the eyes, takes the money with one and shakes his hand with the other.

young jim

50 pounds will suit me fine, nuts to me grandmas dog! I'm a rich man now! thank ye sir thank ye!

jimmy skips out from the scene, leaving the waiter with the worthless fiddle. the waiter is seen kissing the fiddle then hugging it. apparently he hugs it to hard and the ply wood fiddle falls apart in his arms and the waiter begins to sob.

Black out.

scene 3

the street corner that was seen in act 1 scene 1 is set up on stage, only this time covered with snow. the narrator appears to be sleeping lent up agaisnt the lampost. young jim and eddie walk on from stage right talking as they go.

young jim

well eddie, ive got to say, that was pretty slick! i think were ready for tommorow! easy cheezy sleezy weezy

EDDIE FALKES

(chuckling)

slick doesnt even describe how good i was by half old boy! once a grifter always a grifter!

young jim

carefull "edward" its thinking like that'll get you called "eddie" again. God forbid!

EDDIE FALKES

nothing wrong with eddie lad! fine name nice ring to it you see! in anycase, celebrations are in order! one congratulatory beer then off to bed,drinks are on me!

YOUNG JIM

drinks? ed you know what your like mate. once you pop, i dont think ive ever seen you stop.

EDDIE FALKES

balderdash! I'm constantly cautious of my consumption of anything that enters my temple of a body. one drink then off to bed lad, wheres the harm in that?

YOUNG JIM

well, if you say so mate. and if you say your buying sounds like a plan to me.

jim and eddie exit stage left. the narrator snores and is roused by the sounds of church bells. he jumps up and reaches deep into his sleave and pulls out a pipe. sparks a match and lights it up. then turns to the audience.

NARRATOR

so off young jim went, with eddie falkes in tow. down to the pub for three drinks in a row. they left sometime later, looking ready for bed. tommorows the day and theyd need a clear head. at high noon tommorow was the time they had agreed. young jim woke up early and set of to leave. the market square was the scene of the con, little did jim know what eddie had done.

actors start to enter from either side of the stage and engulf the narrator for a second time, exiting almost unocticed. the walls are pulled back to reveal the market square again, minus the wagon. A stall selling fabric has replaced it. the crowd all stand around having converstaions. The chuches doors lie slightly ajar. Noises of children, singin, animals and vendors ring through the set. we see young jim standing centre stage in the cold rubbing his arms and checking his pocket watch. he rants silently as a bell strikes one oclock.

young jim

i knew he wasnt to be trusted! that damned old fool, hes ruined me and reubens won! damn! damn his oiley hide! where in gods names could he be!

there is a commotion off stage and police are heard, jim quickly covers his face.

police

make way! make way! Police business! comming through MAKE WAY!

two policemen walk through the crowd, narrowly avioding jim. They march into the church and smashing noises are heard along side the trade make out busrts of "what!" from eddie fawkes, young jim can be seen to shake his head in anger,

EDDIE FALKES

(Drunk Slurring his words)

I Say i have never... i HAVE NEVER been treated in such a disorderly fashion! I was in my house! MY OWN BLOODY HOUSE! when these-

police

That was not your house Eddie! that was the church of england! and let me tell you now that is NOT what a confesional is for! You've scared many an alter boy today eddie, let's go!

EDDIE FALKES

YOU! YOU! YOU! ohhh you two understand me! just, one drink you see thats all, and! and for the record. I.. I You.

eddie falls flat on the floor. and appears to be sleeping. The two police shake there heads, both taking a foot in hand they drag him off stage.

police

Cmon eddie, lets get you home!

EDDIE FALKES

(almost asleep)

Thats...thats Edward to you...old boy, what?

jim cannot quite believe what he has just seen, he stands thinking for a second. then, twirls about and exits stage right.

BLACK OUT

Act 3

scene 1

we see the brothers ally way den, it is frosty but still looks cosy. the narrator is sleeping in the corner. it is evening the lighting is low. there are candles on the table alongside the chess set. reuben is laid on the floor. using newpapers for a pillow. Jim pokes his head in from the side, sees him sleeping and quitely walks in. There are bottles strewn about the place, and a violin on the table. the chess pieces are all over the board. he sneaks up to reuben, and claps in his face. reuben is startled awake.

REUBEN

NO PAPA!

he sits bolt upright, grabbing a bottle from beside him. noticing jim quickly. he appears hung over, he rubs his head.

REUBEN

Jim! your here. Why are you here? Did you con the commissioner already? wait.. what day is it?

reuben rubs his temples

YOUNG JIM

never mind me! what happened to this place? looks like youve done nothing but drink since i left!

jim picks up a bottle and tosses it aside.

jim walks over to the table and lights the candles with a match.

reuben winces at the lights. grabs his hat a puts it over his face.

REUBEN

after last night. i dont remember much of anything! wheres eddie gone, i swear he was here.

jimmy

Eddie? was here?

REUBEN

yes?

JIMMY

with you?

REUBEN

yes!

YOUNG JIM

drinking?

REUBEN

hahah yes! for a man who has been three years sober he drinks like a fish!

young jim

i thought you didnt like eddie!

REUBEN

he turned up at the door with a big smile on his face booze and one shoe. what was i supposed to do? in my defense he said only one drink, after that i said we should stop, but he kept saying "what" so i just kept drinking and drinking. It was a mess! Why the sudden intrest in eddie.

reuben smiles but only so the audience can see.

young jim

you knew i was using eddie didnt you?

jim is smiling thinking hes worked it out. he sits down on the barrel on stage right next to the chess table.

REUBEN

he was un-reliable. reliability is of, paramount importance.

reuben is wagging his finger in the air. he joins jim at the table, they begin to set up the chess board.

REUBEN

Now it looks like your stuck, back on square one so to speak

there is a pause, young jim looks at reuben who is looking at the chess board. reuben looks up to meet jims gaze.

YOUNG JIM

i need some help reub.

REUBEN

then ask for it

YOUNG JIM

(mumbling)

will you help me con the commisnors daughter?

REUBEN

(now smiling widly)

what was that jim?

young jim

will you help me con the commisnors daugther?

reuben puts his hand to his ear

REUBEN

I'm not hearing the magic wooord.

young jim

will you help me con the commisoners daugther? Please.

REUBEN

OF course! and by the way, his daughter?

YOUNG JIM

ill explain over a drink.

REUBEN

arggg no more drink! explain over chess.

reuben gestures to the chess set.

BLACK OUT

scene 2

the back drop is of a fancy street in london. there is a freeze frame on stage. the narrator is center stage, and ready to talk. behind him the boys pull a con very reflective of the first scene, Reuben is raised above the crowd, young Jim is hidden within the crowd.

NARRATOR

The Great Bones Brothers,together again at last.The bond that they share, has anyone else outclassed. The poor old bob commissioner, of children he has just one. an over indulged princess! who spends his money for fun. she sports a purse as big as her mouth, but our two brothers have figured her out, make her jealous angry or sad. shell dish out a pay day, the biggest they've ever had.

the freeze frame ends, and market noise begins. Reuben begins to talk. the narrator plays a small part in this con, he sits next to Reuben with a piece of parchment and a quill taking down the investments and giving receipts to people.

REUBEN

Ladies and gentle men! boys, and girls. listen closely! I have traveled far, through dangerous, barren landscapes to bring you news,to offer you a once in a life time opportunity! London is a great city, make no mistake. a city that is meant to be paved with gold, i see no gold here today! do you?

the crowd mumer in agreement

But that can become a reality people! what i offer you here today, is a once in a life time opportunity! to purchase land in a new world, a better world, full of riches and opportunity's beyond your wildest dreams! America! a land of the free! free of taxes! free of evil land lords! Free of Kings and queens, a land of equal opportunity's for me, you and everyone smart enough to take a piece while there are still pieces left to be took!

the crowd are muttering in agreement and seem slightly excited.

REUBEN

for any  price, you can be a part of something bigger! something more exciting, something better than what you have now! invest with us and you will see your one pound tripled with every passing week! the more you give the more you get! simple as that! No? you are still not convinced? before i heard of this wonderful scheme i was down on my luck,and  down with the bookys.

reuben winks, and some of the male crowd laugh.

but after investing just 4 dollars! two pounds to you english money is no longer an issue, as you can see

reuben pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch and shows the crowd.

REUBEN

Do i have any man here who is willing to take the plunge into riches?? to climb the ladder of sucsess? No?

there is a slight pause.

well then, i must be moving on, riches await other people it seems

reuben turns his back on them and a voice is heard from the back of the crowd.

YOUNG JIM

I say, wait there good sir!

the crowd turn to see young jim dressed in finery, they part in the middle to let him through.

young jim

i would surly be a fool to miss such an un missable offer! once in a life time! more like two! i say, 50 pounds and i hope to see 150 by next week

REUBEN

a smart man, of course sir. it could be 150 most likly more, there is no limit to what your money could become.

young jim

that sir!

jim wags his finger.

remains to be seen! just give me my recipt! so i can sleep easy knowing you havent just wondered off with my hard earned cash. 

young jim walks up to the narrator and hands him money, the narrator gives him back a recipt. they have fake bank stamps on them. young jim holds it up to the light. and talks to reuben, and reuben talks back to him directly, not to the audience.

young jim

i say! i didnt know the bank undertook such projects as this!

REUBEN

hahaha who else do you think would back such an abitious project? the banks are our partners, and our  clients.

jim shakes both the narroators and reubens hands then walks off stage but appears on the other side of the stage watching intently. four or five crowd members come up and invest money, all eager to get there investment in, after doing so they all walk away with worthless recipts. one girl is sat on stage watching it all go on. it is the commisnors daughter "Harriot Mcreedy" she is in her early 20's arrogant, good looking and short fused.

REUBEN

what about you? little girl?

harriot

excuse me? little girl?

reuben

i am very sorry, i ment no offence .i wonder perhaps if your husband or father is around to invest. i would hate for them to miss out.

HARRIOT

i am nither married, nor do i run messages of foolery to my father.

REUBEN

foolery? i am very sorry, i did not realize what i had said was confusing. Foolery does not buy a man a suit like this, a dress like yours maybe! but not this suit.

she gets up and walks over to reuben, squaring up with him.

HARRIOT

well i never! ill have you know i could buy and sell you in a second!

REUBEN

Yes, but with your fathers money ill bet.

HARRIOT

my money is my own! and knowone else's. My father may give it to me but it is still mine.

REUBEN

well, would you not like an opportunity to stand on your own two feet? but i can understand if the world of investment confueses you.

HARRIOT

confuse me! never i was about to come over and invest myself.

REUBEN

oh well thats very nice but we do not really need any more small time investors.

HARRIOT

well, how does one hundred pounds sound?

REUBEN

it sounds fantasic, but it would look even better in my hand.

harriot goes into her purse and pulls out a roll of notes.

HARRIOT

believe me now? yes that has changed your tune, mr new world.

harriot storms past reuben, goes straight to the narrator , hands him the money signs the form and gets a recipt, reuben watchs. after she has done this the narrator walks of stage and appears next to jim with the cash.

HARRIOT

now when can i expect my return? i expect to see a rather large some of money for this genorous investment!

REUBEN

all in good time my dear, all in good time. but i must leave, i have many places to be and many people to see.

HARRIOT

(flirting)

hold on! arnt you going to stay and chat? i bet you have some wonderfull storys. like where are you from? and whats your name?

the commisoner walks in from stage left.

COMMISNOR

Reuben Bones my dear,one lousy half of the "great" bones Brothers.

reuben trys to run off stage right but is caught by two policemen that walk on from stage right. he struggles to escape but they hold him tight.

COMMISNOR

and where is that cocky brother of yours! i know he's near, your never far from each other! weel have you on the gallows in no time! cmon give him up!

REUBEN

RUN JIMMY RUN!!

the commisoner punches reuben square in the stomach he bends over double, jimmy runs of stage mortified. and it blacks out. A bell is heard ringing.

BLACK OUT

scene 4

back at the brothers allyway home, jim is alone on stage. He looks bad, with a bottle in one hand and a pipe in the other, he sautners about stage looking lost. The chess board is all over the floor. Jim finnaly looks up and around, drops onto a barrel and begins to hum a sad tune. the table in front on him is covered in the money he has gained from the last con. jimmy is talking to himself on stage. as he talks he swigs from the bottle.

YOUNG JIM

you warned me reub, you were right! you were right all along.(then imitating reuben) I know i was jim.(back to his voice) no need to be like that about it mate, it was for fun! i didnt mean for that to happen.(imitating reuben) would have been a good plan if it was though eh? (back to his voice) This is no time for jokes reub (immiteting reuben) it is always time for jokes ( back to his voice) what do you know, i mean we never even play chess any more!

reuben enters from stage right

REUBEN

well its hard to play chess with the pieces all over the floor.

YOUNG JIM

well I'm not cleaning them up! its.. not my problem!

REUBEN

well whos is it then jim? if I'm dead this is your house now.

YOUNG JIM

pfft whatdya you know ehhh? not enough to not get caught thats what!

REUBEN

but just enough to know how to escape, turn around jim.

jim turns around and turns back to the table and looks at the bottle in his hand.

YOUNG JIM

clearly! i have had too much to drink

he throws the bottle away it clangs in the corner.jim stands up, still facing away from  reuben. as he does this reuben walks up behind him turns him round and slaps him square in the face.

REUBEN

you can never have had to much to drink!

young jim doesnt seem to feel any pain, he just stares at reuben for a second

YOUNG JIM

reub... reub? is that really you?

REUBEN

yes jim it is really me!

jims face lights up, reuben smiles and then jim throws his arms around him almost knocking reuben over. the suddenly pulling away seeming almost sober.

YOUNG JIM

hang on, just one god damn second! how did you... what! i... i. What did you do?!

reuben picks up the chess set and sits down at the table, he begins to set up the board.

REUBEN

lets just say, life is like a chess board and i know how to play it.

shows jimmmy the queen piece

REUBEN

plus, i always have a secret move hidden up my sleave.

YOUNG JIM

what?

EDDIE FALKES

(falling backwards onto the set with bottles in his hand)

WHAT!

black out.

Scene 5

the narrator is seen back at the first set, standing in the same place in the same clothes.

NARRATOR

ill bet your bamboozled, and possibly confused. well don't you folks worry, ill explain Reuben's ruse. reubens concern was jims growing head,and he was quite  worried about ending up dead. He paired jim with eddie, who was destined to fail. He taught jim a lesseon by going to jail. jim thought he was dead but reub had made plans. in a jail sell with eddie who gave him a hand. the fat drunk fool was not who he seemed. a true con man at heart,who had us all decived. while he was drunk, the police dropped there guards. Eddie swallowed a key, which he didnt find hard. Waited for reuben to get thrown in a cell,and snuck out at midnight to the sounds of a bell. Were so glad to have had you, please come back again soon, for another tall tale about young jim and reub.

THE END